I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
