smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize