That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
