the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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