They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
