I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
