chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
