Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
