I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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