He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
