google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
