he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
