I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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