It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
