come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
