Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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