So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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