dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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