no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
