lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
