I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
