she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
