Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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