At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
