singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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