so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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