I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
