Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
