quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
