so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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