his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
