I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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