Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
