I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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