I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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