dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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