He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
