Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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