I think my vagina is haunted
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize