If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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