the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
