Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
