I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
