Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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