Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
