My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
