It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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