WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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