For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
