I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize