I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
