I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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