and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Your cock deserves a montage
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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