Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize