U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
