i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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