I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
