all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
