I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
