hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
They are going to name an STD after you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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