We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
