Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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