You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
