The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
