Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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