i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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