It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we made out on top of his cat.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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